Gay Marriage: A Ministerial Conundrum (Part 1)
This question was recently asked on a friend’s Facebook feed in response to a video on gay marriage:
…I have some friends who are a happily and legally married gay couple. Though I am so encouraged by everyone’s comments about inviting homosexuals to church I have to ask, what would your opinions be about this specific situation if this couple came to your church? Would your wish be for them to eventually realize their wrong ways and repent from their homosexual lifestyle (and thus getting a divorce, marrying a woman or remaining celibate) or would you simply leave them as they are, a lovingly committed, dedicated married couple? Also, before you answer remember Jesus’ words about divorce. Not wanting to start anything here, just adding to the discussion. Blessings.
It’s a very interesting question and one I’ve been struggling with since listening to David Platt at Secret Church. He asked the same question about a polygamist and said that he should stayed married to his wives and continue to support and take care of them in the way that they had before. The repercussion is that their polygamy would disqualify them from leadership (“husband of one wife”). So, does this apply to gay marriage as well?
In 1 Corinthians Paul says that a believer married to unbeliever should not divorce if the unbeliever agrees to stay with them and then shortly after states that we should “remain in the condition in which we were called.” (1 Corinthians 7:12-22) Though this does not speak of the topic of homosexuality (same-sex marriage would not have been a issue at the time) it is something to look at as we think about the question. This is not something that will just go away, if you are a part of a church, and especially if you are in ministry, you will have to face this some day.
Obviously this is just the beginning of thinking through this. It is obvious from scripture that a gay marriage is not a God honoring union, but neither is polygamy. One could even argue that such unions were not marriages in the eyes of God.
So, what do you think? Should a married gay or lesbian couple stay together after becoming believers? What if they have children? What if one of them has been a stay-at-home mom or dad, supported by their spouse?
I’ll be coming back to this soon, expounding on my thoughts and looking at more scripture. In the meantime, what do you think?
