Gay Marriage: A Ministerial Conundrum (Part 1)
This question was recently asked on a friend’s Facebook feed in response to a video on gay marriage:
…I have some friends who are a happily and legally married gay couple. Though I am so encouraged by everyone’s comments about inviting homosexuals to church I have to ask, what would your opinions be about this specific situation if this couple came to your church? Would your wish be for them to eventually realize their wrong ways and repent from their homosexual lifestyle (and thus getting a divorce, marrying a woman or remaining celibate) or would you simply leave them as they are, a lovingly committed, dedicated married couple? Also, before you answer remember Jesus’ words about divorce. Not wanting to start anything here, just adding to the discussion. Blessings.
It’s a very interesting question and one I’ve been struggling with since listening to David Platt at Secret Church. He asked the same question about a polygamist and said that he should stayed married to his wives and continue to support and take care of them in the way that they had before. The repercussion is that their polygamy would disqualify them from leadership (“husband of one wife”). So, does this apply to gay marriage as well?
In 1 Corinthians Paul says that a believer married to unbeliever should not divorce if the unbeliever agrees to stay with them and then shortly after states that we should “remain in the condition in which we were called.” (1 Corinthians 7:12-22) Though this does not speak of the topic of homosexuality (same-sex marriage would not have been a issue at the time) it is something to look at as we think about the question. This is not something that will just go away, if you are a part of a church, and especially if you are in ministry, you will have to face this some day.
Obviously this is just the beginning of thinking through this. It is obvious from scripture that a gay marriage is not a God honoring union, but neither is polygamy. One could even argue that such unions were not marriages in the eyes of God.
So, what do you think? Should a married gay or lesbian couple stay together after becoming believers? What if they have children? What if one of them has been a stay-at-home mom or dad, supported by their spouse?
I’ll be coming back to this soon, expounding on my thoughts and looking at more scripture. In the meantime, what do you think?
Check These Out 7/25/11
How Do I Think About Tweeting? - A Response to John Mayer (John Piper)
My experience of publishing three Tweets a day (usually written and scheduled a week or two ahead of time) is different. Mayer said, “I couldn’t have a complete thought anymore.” To me this is almost the opposite of what happens. But that may depend on what we aim to do with Twitter.
Two aims drive my writing of Tweets: One is theological and the other is aesthetic. I aim to say important theological things. And I aim to say them in a compelling way. Whether I succeed is not mine to judge.
When I teach church planting seminars or coach planters I sometimes talk about intentionally choosing your influences.
Obviously if the Bible speaks on a topic, we should follow the Bible. But what about when it doesn’t? I think one of the (many) reasons churches reach church goers (rather than people who don’t like church) is because they look to other churches for their influences. We’ve tried to intentionally find non-church influences for non-theological issues.
What God in Christ Accomplished that Humanity Couldn’t: NT Wright’s 2 Minute Overview of the Bible
Check These Out 6/28/11
Myth: Building (planting) a church is sexy and cool. Truth: Foundations aren’t sexy. Concrete and ugly form board aren’t sexy. But neither is stopping to repair the crappy house you built too quickly without counting the cost.
Myth: If you plant and water, God will cause the growth! Truth: You can’t deny the Law of the Farm. You can plant. You can water. But if you can’t wait, you’ll either dig up good seed (quit too early) or yell at the seed to grow (go nuts) or pull up something that isn’t ready to produce fruit (shallow church).
A Missing Element in Local Church Discipleship
Many times I am asked to describe effective approaches to discipleship in the local church. The inquirer is essentially concerned about seeing church members become more devoted followers of Christ, and seeing those members more connected to the life and ministry of the local church. And the missing element to these concerns that I see most frequently is an intentional effort to involve as many members in daily Bible reading as possible. The Word of God is powerful and transformative. Reading and studying the Bible daily may be the most important act a Christian can do to grow as a disciple.
But after years of hearing, and echoing, this call to radical activism, I’ve seen that activist Christianity can be just as detrimental as consumer Christianity. We tend to make our activism the center of our faith rather than Christ. As Tim Keller says, idols are “good things turned into ultimate things.”
When presented this way, it can lead to the kind of exhaustion expressed by the suburban mom, and it robs people of their joy.
I’m reminded of the Prodigal Son parable. Jesus shows that the older, obedient son is just as lost as his wayward brother. His service for his father, his tireless activism, results in an equally estranged heart. Are our calls to radical activism simply making younger sons into older sons?
Our first and only allegiance is to Jesus, who is our King and to the Kingdom he is King of which is coming and also already here. While not all actions of any nation-state interfere with Jesus’ Kingdom, inevitably, every government comes into conflict with the values, principles and beliefs of the Kingdom of God. Because of this, Christians should not give their allegiance to any Kingdom/Empire/Nation other than that of Jesus’ Kingdom.
