Gay Marriage: A Ministerial Conundrum (Part 1)
This question was recently asked on a friend’s Facebook feed in response to a video on gay marriage:
…I have some friends who are a happily and legally married gay couple. Though I am so encouraged by everyone’s comments about inviting homosexuals to church I have to ask, what would your opinions be about this specific situation if this couple came to your church? Would your wish be for them to eventually realize their wrong ways and repent from their homosexual lifestyle (and thus getting a divorce, marrying a woman or remaining celibate) or would you simply leave them as they are, a lovingly committed, dedicated married couple? Also, before you answer remember Jesus’ words about divorce. Not wanting to start anything here, just adding to the discussion. Blessings.
It’s a very interesting question and one I’ve been struggling with since listening to David Platt at Secret Church. He asked the same question about a polygamist and said that he should stayed married to his wives and continue to support and take care of them in the way that they had before. The repercussion is that their polygamy would disqualify them from leadership (“husband of one wife”). So, does this apply to gay marriage as well?
In 1 Corinthians Paul says that a believer married to unbeliever should not divorce if the unbeliever agrees to stay with them and then shortly after states that we should “remain in the condition in which we were called.” (1 Corinthians 7:12-22) Though this does not speak of the topic of homosexuality (same-sex marriage would not have been a issue at the time) it is something to look at as we think about the question. This is not something that will just go away, if you are a part of a church, and especially if you are in ministry, you will have to face this some day.
Obviously this is just the beginning of thinking through this. It is obvious from scripture that a gay marriage is not a God honoring union, but neither is polygamy. One could even argue that such unions were not marriages in the eyes of God.
So, what do you think? Should a married gay or lesbian couple stay together after becoming believers? What if they have children? What if one of them has been a stay-at-home mom or dad, supported by their spouse?
I’ll be coming back to this soon, expounding on my thoughts and looking at more scripture. In the meantime, what do you think?
Check These Out 7/21/11
6 Big Things That Divide Christians
One of the dominant attributes of Christianity today is that its adherents can’t seem to agree on much; or at least, we fight about things more loudly and publicly than we agree about things. This is sad, but probably inevitable. Since Christ’s time on this planet, his followers have been arguing about almost everything. It’s nothing new, though certain technologies (the blogosphere, Twitterverse, etc) seem to amplify it today. We argue about all sorts of things—small, large, petty, important. We argue about “essentials” and “nonessentials,” and even about who decides which is which. The following is my solemn reflection on the things that divide us the most these days. What can we do to have better dialogue about these things?
Paul refers to himself numerous times as worth “imitating” when it comes to spiritual growth and maturity (1 Cor. 4:16, 11:1; Phil. 3:17, 4:19; 1 Thess. 1:6; and 2 Thess. 3:7, 9). What do we see when we look to Paul as an example? He makes three significant statements about himself throughout his years in ministry that are helpful insights into his view of spiritual growth.
A Pastor Who Reads His Journals
Pastors, like doctors, face the temptation not to study. There’s little short-term payoff for study. Nobody in my church is begging me to read Calvin’s Institutesor John Frame’s The Doctrine of the Word of God. In fact, they roll their eyes if I talk about these books too much. They have no idea how much they need me to read them.
Should Christians Embrace Evolution?
What the book demonstrates above all, and what it demonstrates especially in the first half, is that there is far more to the issue of creation than merely whether the world was created in six days or six billion years. This doctrine of creation provides a foundation for many others. As we let go of a literal six-day creation, we find many other critical doctrines are in danger of falling with it.
Check These Out 7/13/11 (MMA Jesus Edition)
In His divine wisdom and providence, God chose Jacob the mommy-loving kitchen boy and He did not choose Esau the uber-hairy deer-hunting red-neck.
More Churches Promote Martial Arts to Reach Young Men
Mr. Renken’s ministry is one of a small but growing number of evangelical churches that have embraced mixed martial arts — a sport with a reputation for violence and blood that combines kickboxing, wrestling and other fighting styles — to reach and convert young men, whose church attendance has been persistently low. Mixed martial arts events have drawn millions of television viewers, and one was the top pay-per-view event in 2009.
So it is, of course, ironic that the churches and pastors who are touting MMA are doing so in order to inject some masculinity into American Christianity. What they seem to be missing — or maybe just what they refuse to admit — is that they’ve chosen the one sport on the American scene that is highly sexually charged. And the sexuality in MMA is not hetero.
Check These Out 7/6/11
Following revelations of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s adultery and Anthony Weiner’s sexting comes news that the state of New York will legally recognize the “marriage” of homosexuals. While the legal modification of marriage continues the not-so-gradual removal of nuptial boundaries, heterosexual marriage is likewise undergoing a transformation. Veteran journalist Mark Oppenheimer featured Dan Savage, “America’s leading sex-advice columnist” and homosexual activist in a recent New York Times piece that championed adultery. Gaining national prominence for his It Gets Better Project—”an archive of hopeful videos aimed at troubled gay youth”—Savage believes that public discourse about sexuality (and monogamy in particular) is “dishonest.”
“Treating monogamy, rather than honesty or joy or humor, as the main indicator of a successful marriage,” says Savage, “gives people unrealistic expectations of themselves and their partners.” Such “unrealistic expectations” of sexual fidelity seem to be the fuel for many divorces. From his perspective, the promotion of monogamy actually “destroys more families than it saves.”
The Devilish Debate Over Choice vs. Chance
Yes, God really did say that homosexuality is a sin. God really did say we would be tempted to sin, which includes homosexuality. God really did say we can be forgiven and He can make us whole again. He said He loves us, doesn’t leave us and wants to be with us. Which, by the way, is not the typical way Christians treat sexual sinners … even those who confess and repent.
He also said Satan is a liar, so, when Satan appears as the voice of modern culture and repeats his age-old promises, why should we be surprised that they’re delivered with the precision of a practiced deceiver? He’s slick, and not just because he’s a serpent.
Seven Things I Try To Do In Order To Raise A Godly Daughter
#7 – We pray together every night…I always want her to remember that her daddy made it a priority to pray with her. I’m not telling her to pray…I’m teaching her how.
Missional Communities series | Final Post
Well folks, this is our last post in our long-running Missional Communities series. And what better way to end it than by ending without new content; rather, an easy reference list of each of the past posts. Hope you find this helpful in the months and years to come.
Check These Out 6/21/11
In this, Abrams’ film reflects the curiosity of our contemporary YouTube landscape–where “raw footage” of whatever sort (disasters, news footage, celebrity gaffes, etc.) can be remixed, re-edited, and put to work to fit the fancy of any number of aspiring auteurs or opinionated pontificators. Like any media form, the moving image has proven to be skillful at both capturing reality as it unfolds as well as capturing the malleability of reality to fit itself within the vision, fantasy, or agenda of whatever artisan maneuvers the media apparatus.
Missional is not an event we tack onto our already busy lives. It is our life. Mission should be the way we live, not something we add onto life: “As you go, make disciples….”; “Walk wisely towards outsiders”; “Let your speech always be seasoned with salt”; “be prepared to give a defense for your hope”. We can be missional in everyday ways without overloading our schedules. Here are a few suggestions:
Ministering To Those Struggling With Same Sex Desires
How we should minister to those struggling with same-sex desires is a part of the broader picture of how we should minister to those struggling with a variety of sins and temptations.
How Divorce Has Lost Its Groove
That a woman who has been divorced should feel such awkwardness and isolation seems more part of a Todd Haynes set piece than a scene from “families come in all shapes and sizes” New York, circa 2011. But divorce statistics, which have followed a steady downward slope since their 1980 peak, reveal another interesting trend: According to a 2010 study by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, only 11 percent of college-educated Americans divorce within the first 10 years today, compared with almost 37 percent for the rest of the population.
